I don’t know about you guys, but for me dating is a not so pleasant life experience for me. I’ve had dates with douche muffins and dates with the sweetest guys ever. But there’s one I’ll never forget.
If you’re shy and awkward like me, then online dating is a godsend. I stick to the usual Tinder (I’ve met some really great guys on there!). Now, we all do the wine and swipe night (or is that just me?) and we regret all of the matches we get the next day. I had one match that caught my eye; he was an exotic, dark skinned man with a smile whiter than snow. 😍
We hit it off through texting and snap chat. He wanted to meet and I thought, ‘why not?’ Well I wish I could go back and tell myself ‘why not.’ We met for coffee at 8:30am because that was the only time we were both available. Things were perfect, he had a British accent, we had lots of things in common, we laughed, BUT—-He was late and he wore sweatpants. I know it’s early in the morning, but throw on some jeans.
After our coffee date he asked me if I wanted to go to the lake and walk around. (YES I told everyone where I was going) Instead of walking around we made out. Which I’m normally okay with, but it was 9am. Like buddy, calm yourself. Then–THEN he decides that it’s an appropriate time to whip his dick out. (HE SAID THAT’S WHY HE WORE SWEATPANTS) What was I supposed to do with that? He goes from 0 to 100 real fast and I’m still trying to wake up. What. The. Fuck. He said that I had given him the okay over text when I clearly said I won’t go any further than kissing. I yelled at him to take me to my car. After the silent ride back, he asked me out again. “I just think we really hit it off.” Yeah. Okay.
I still can’t decide if that’s the first or second worst date I’ve been on.