Awkward Pick up lines

I can never figure out why, but the oddest things happen to me. The best things I seem to attract are the worst pick up lines possible.

“Hey baby, let me see those legs–I can be your daddy long legs.”

“Aww chica, don’t be sad because your dad isn’t here–I’ll be your new papi.”

“Is that a mirror in your pants? I can see myself and you can’t say no to sitting on a face like this.”

“Hi! Are you Ben Dover? Will you?”

“My churro needs some of your sugar.”

“So what should our safe word be?”

“Are you an angel? I’d like to fuck you but I know it wouldn’t be real.”

“Hey cowgirl, you can ride my pony for free.”

“You’re absolutely gorgeous. You look just like my sister.”

“Are you a blowpop? I want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of that booty.”

“Well hello officer booty. The only thing I’m guilty of is speeding.” (Think about it)

“If you buy me a drink, I’ll buy your love.” (Think about it)

“Have you ever been with an NFL player? Tonight is your unlucky night because I’m just a janitor.”

*rollerblading* “Hey baby, you can roll on my blade anytime.”

The list goes on.

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